Suffering

Now here is a title that will either draw you near, as you lean in turning your ear very earnestly to a point of interest or you will slightly yawn and skip right along in your day.  We foolishly come with our own conclusions on the aspect of suffering; assuming that is for other people or minimalize it altogether.  Or, on the flip side of the coin you are very aquainted with suffering.  My heart longs to share where God has been journeying me on this road for the past 6 months.  This is the last topic that I long to share my heart on; in reality it feels far too vulnerable and risky.  I have been avoiding this for weeks (hence the 3 week gap in my postings); but I know that this is what God is asking me to begin to do, to pour out my heart however feeble it my appear.  I long to trust him who ordains my comings and my goings, to give him glory and honor and praise even in the midst of unknown and direction that is as clear and sure as a foggy night.
I believe that this will be the beginning of an ongoing dialogue with you; I don't see how one post could possible package up my heart and experience on this subject in a pristine foil wrapped package with a Tiffany bow.  It would be shallow and insencere, and completely not honor my God whom I long to honor with all of me. 
I know that for myself I am constantly attempting to figure out the why behind a circumstance that appears wrong, or unfair, or unexplainable.  As if being able to tidy it up and label it as such will diminish the pain that it has caused either myself or another person.  As if the approach, "this is happening because of ____" or "so that___" will help the situation.   Because we all know that bad things don't happen to "good" people, right?  Obviously someone must have done something wrong to endure such pain, or watch their business crumble, or witness their spouse walk away from their marriage.  I have been completely guilty of this mentality; and I pray that my own experiences have turned my heart towards a tenderness for the difficulties, losses, and pains around me with a new awareness and humility. 
We will all suffer as Peter points out to us:
          1Peter 4:12  "Beloved, do not be surprised at the firery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as
          though something strange were happening to you."
I think the aspect of suffering so that God may be glorified feels far too risky for us to swollow.  But doesn't it make sense to "have a plan" on how we will survive when  the storms come?  Trust that this is God's good hand upon us and that He is a generous Father.  All of His works toward His children are good.  JI Packer said "still He seeks the fellowship of His poeple and sends them both sorrows and joys to detach their love from other things and attach it to Himself."  Honestly, that is beautiful....to feel so loved, so treasured that God in His sovereignty intervenes in my life to draw me to Him!
I hope with all my heart that this introduction to suffering does not appear cool or distant.  I want to be so real with you, bearing my heart with the truth that Jesus has been walking me through, and the pain of this journey one day at a time.....truly my love abounds.